Why is breastfeeding so hard?? It's natural, after all!
Yes, it's natural. When it goes well, it is the best thing in the world. But when it goes wrong, many women feel that it's a nightmare.
'Natural' doesn't mean 'easy'. Childbirth is natural, but not many women would say it is easy!
Unfortunately, there are many things that can get in the way of a good breastfeeding experience; sick or premmie baby, attachment problems resulting in nipple pain, duct blockages, mastitis, breast pain caused by thrush, undersupply, oversupply, unsettled baby, to name a few.
Most problems are treatable and will improve. If not, then weaning onto formula can be the appropriate way to manage the problem. I do not for a second think that formula feeding is 'as good as breastfeeding', because it isn't. But neither should mum have to martyr herself for weeks and weeks and weeks with no help or relief. If you think you are experiencing problems, seek help earlier!
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Below are a few commonly asked questions. If you have any questions, please access the blog attached to this site. Or you can call me or send me an email.
Why breastfeed?
Is it really worth it?
The answer is YES. When it goes well, it is an amazing experience. The miracle of your own body nourishing your baby is very special. The intimacy of breastfeeding is unique.
There is an enormous body of scientific evidence showing that breastfeeding, exclusive or not, is better for baby, even in developed countries, protecting against many illnesses such as diarrhoea and respiratory infections.
It also protects the mother from various conditions in later life, such as breast and ovarian cancers.
Is it normal for breastfeeding to hurt?
NO. Breastfeeding should NOT hurt.
It's a bit like losing your virginity; at first, it may be a bit uncomfortable, but if it was still painful after weeks and weeks, you would seek help. So at the first feed, there might be a bit of an 'OOH!' moment; but if baby is well attached, there should not be pain with attachment, during or after feeds. Some women do have sensitive nipples so it might take longer to get comfortable, but they usually settle.
My partner wants to feed the baby too! How can we do this in partnership?
If this is really something that you want to happen then the best scenario would be to pump a feed before you go to bed, and have your partner then give the baby a bottle feed of EBM (Expressed Breast Milk). You shouldn't miss the feed entirely as you might become overfull or run into other problems. I do not advise doing this until at least 6 weeks after the birth, as it can take that long to establish a full supply, plus, baby needs to know how to breastfeed before you start sticking other things in his mouth. I personally am not a big fan of fiddling around with breastfeeds in order to accommodate fathers. Father can do many things and be supportive in other ways. Fathers can show that love can come without food!
Why do mums wean?
The commonest reasons for early weaning are:
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Painful nipples and
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Low supply.
Both these conditions, and many others, are very treatable and often the problem is getting the right diagnosis and then the appropriate treatment. It doesn't always work, but the vast majority of cases do get better!
Should I 'toughen up' my nipples?
NO!! In the old days, mums were often taught to prepare their nipples for nursing by rubbing them with a face washer or, and I'm not making this up, a toothbrush. This was supposed to make the nipple skin 'tougher' so as to withstand nursing. This is complete nonsense. Nipples do not develop calluses! You do not need to prepare your nipples in anyway. In fact, research has shown that women with inverted nipples who were givern special preparatory exercises, nipple rolling etc, actually did worse than those who did nothing.
I have to go back to work! How can I nurse?
The realities of today mean that women often find themselves having to go back to work after several months or even weeks of maternity leave. It goes without saying that he longer you can stay at home with your baby, the better.
Having said that, where there's a will, and appropriate support, there's a way.
In the case of returning to full-time work after 6 months, the baby will be on solids and the frequency of feeds is 5-6 over 24 hours. This means that you would be apart from the baby for 2 feeds or so. In order to maintain supply, you would need to pump twice in the working day. You actually have a legal right to have 2 x 15minute 'breastfeeding breaks' during the day, apart from a lunch break. All you need then is a private place, somewhere to store the milk- in a fridge or cooler- and a powerpoint (unless your pump has batteries or is manually operated.) It takes practice but it is doable. You would then take the milk home for use the next day. If you have to supplement a bit with formula, not so bad. Once you get home you can sit down and nurse your baby, who will be very happy to see you! Weekends, nurse freely to bring supply back up, as sometimes it drops off.
My breasts are small and I was told I won't be able to nurse. Is this true?
THIS IS NOT TRUE.
Breast size is completely irrelevant to the ability to produce milk. Bigger breasts are bigger because they contain more fat, as a rule, not more glands and milk-producing tissue.
Also, nipples come in all shapes and sizes; inverted nippes can make nursing more difficult at first, but the baby usually learns how to deal with it, and the nipples often 'pop out'.
My mum couldn't nurse us, does that mean that I won't be able to?
Your mother's breastfeeding experience does not predict yours. Hospital practices and advice from midwives, doctors and maternal and child health nurses has changed tremendously over the generations. It used to be very common for babies to be taken from mums after birth and washed before the breast was offered; evidence has shown that this can interfere with successful attachment. Babies were separated from mothers in nurseries and often only brought for a breastfeed every 4 hours; but newborns might need nursing every 2-3 hours. Sugar water or water was often given to newborns at birth to make sure the baby could swallow. These are only a few examples of practices which had a damaging effect on the success of breastfeeding.
On top of that, you are not a genetic clone of your mother, so whatever her 'milk-making' abilities were, nothing applies to you and your baby. Every baby and every lactaton is unique.
Do I have to get a pump? What type?
It really depends on what you plan to do. If you are returning to work then an portable electric pump, preferably double-sided for efficiency, is worth investing in. There are many on the market. If you need to pump in order to boost supply, then a hospital-grade electric pump such as the Medela Symphony can be rented from many pharmacies. If you only intend to pump from time to time, then a smaller hand-held pump such as the Avent Isis is usually sufficient. But you don't HAVE to get a pump just because. Hand expressing can be very effective, and is a skill easily learned.